Tell me if this ever happened to you. One day you are standing on your front porch and you have an epiphany. Out of the blue it just occurs to you what has been happening to your project for years. This is what happens when duck and/or chicken poo mixes with rain water. I think I could make a case for this being alchemy. All of a sudden the hard work you did some years back has turned into something you no longer recognize. Possibly you do recognize it but you don’t really want to admit it.
These steps may look like the product of a diseased mind. Perhaps they are but it was intentional. Sally’s mom had to use the steps frequently and my mom visited. Sally had some requirements.
The first requirement was that Mom didn’t have to step way up. None of these steps is more than six inches higher than the preceeding one.
They had to be deep so that one could stand on the step without falling off. There is standing space that is no less than two by three feet.
The third was just Sally’s notion. That was that they not be typical steps. None of these steps are exactly like any other one. In the trades we call that being whompy jawed.
Things are holding up pretty well but the wood started to erode and the upright posts were once straight. We can talk more about the steps later but they are ok for now. They are an upcoming project. By the way. The clutter to the right is actually a collection of patio lemon trees.
The first requirement was that Mom didn’t have to step way up. None of these steps is more than six inches higher than the preceeding one.
They had to be deep so that one could stand on the step without falling off. There is standing space that is no less than two by three feet.
The third was just Sally’s notion. That was that they not be typical steps. None of these steps are exactly like any other one. In the trades we call that being whompy jawed.
Things are holding up pretty well but the wood started to erode and the upright posts were once straight. We can talk more about the steps later but they are ok for now. They are an upcoming project. By the way. The clutter to the right is actually a collection of patio lemon trees.
It was this scene that greeted me when I had my moment of revelation. Well actually it was much worse than this but I decided to spare you. When I wake up each morning I have some chores. I give grain to the livestock and then (if the water isn’t frozen) I wash the porch. The chickens and ducks roost on the rails at night and the geese have free rein. They leave calling cards that, thankfully, are water soluble.
Unfortunately, those calling cards are also acidic. I started constructing this porch a dozen years ago. Fenceboards and landscape timbers are the best bang for the buck in the lumber yards. If you don’t know where landscape timbers come from here is a basic.
Plywood is made by putting a big log on a lathe. The thin slice that is peeled off is the veneer that is glued together in that laminated miracle we call plywood. The center of the log then has two sides sawed flat so they will stack. Then they are soaked in poison. They virtually last forever but they just don’t hold up against chicken and/or duck poo.
I thought I would get some answers when I purchased a book called Extreme Home Makeover by Jeff Foxworthy. It really is not about home makeover and is just a collection of redneck jokes. Even so, I found that book to be well worth the $.99 that I paid for it. I thought about buying a camoflaged hardcover but decided that the risk of losing it around here was just too great.
If you are a well seasoned citizen such as myself and you really couldn’t see much in the above picture, here is a closeup. What would you do. Well, I relied on something from the distant past.
A few years ago it was all the rage to make concrete countertops. I figured that to be tough enough to withstand this corrosive mix. I understood the end result would not look perfect because the timber underneath is very irregular. I entered this figuring I will need to make come corrective cosmetic action before it is over. On the other hand it is me so maybe not. Guess I’ll wait to see what Sally says.
A few years ago it was all the rage to make concrete countertops. I figured that to be tough enough to withstand this corrosive mix. I understood the end result would not look perfect because the timber underneath is very irregular. I entered this figuring I will need to make come corrective cosmetic action before it is over. On the other hand it is me so maybe not. Guess I’ll wait to see what Sally says.
Just in case you are wondering - yes it was necessary to clean a mess before we started laying the concrete. This picture was fairly early in the process. Two sprayings with bleach and water and it still looked bad. The little flat piece of wood that was nailed to the bottom of the seat is there to support a form. That form was a strip of plywood about 5” wide.
This is pretty much what it looked like during the job. No concrete does not normally come out smooth like that.
When the crete has been shaped or formed it becomes easy to smooth. Using portland cement then is the key. Now it isn’t important to smooth it under normal circumstances. If you look at your sidewalk or roadway you will see that they are very porous. Those applications have no need to clean enough to sit on. It might not be really important here either. With a roof and a hanging perch the need for that job may really diminish.
Well anyway, the trick is to use portland cement. Use a salt type shaker with the hole size increased and shake the cement on top of the wet concrete. Then use a wet trowel to smooth it in. I punched some holes in the bottom of a coffee can instead of using Sally’s salt shaker. Just another trick of the trade. If Mama is happy, you survive to finish the job.
When the crete has been shaped or formed it becomes easy to smooth. Using portland cement then is the key. Now it isn’t important to smooth it under normal circumstances. If you look at your sidewalk or roadway you will see that they are very porous. Those applications have no need to clean enough to sit on. It might not be really important here either. With a roof and a hanging perch the need for that job may really diminish.
Well anyway, the trick is to use portland cement. Use a salt type shaker with the hole size increased and shake the cement on top of the wet concrete. Then use a wet trowel to smooth it in. I punched some holes in the bottom of a coffee can instead of using Sally’s salt shaker. Just another trick of the trade. If Mama is happy, you survive to finish the job.
As you can read in all sorts of publications, when you are running concrete it is best to have enough. Stopping and starting another day does not work too well.
I am very well versed in planning but decided I would fall just a little short. I wanted to show that it is possible to overcome difficulties of that sort. Used to be a teacher you know.
I am very well versed in planning but decided I would fall just a little short. I wanted to show that it is possible to overcome difficulties of that sort. Used to be a teacher you know.
You have to make the concrete wet but not so wet that it becomes weak. Normally one gallon of water is just about enough for an 80 lb bag. When you have it poured it is best to cover it from the hot sun and stay damp. You can actually spray it with a water hose after it sets.
Now if you are going to add more concrete later that dampness is really important. Also, if there is a need for good structural strength (there isn’t here) pressing some nails or rebar in the wet concrete is helpful. They join the two separate castings. This technique with the bags works as well as any when you have a lot of sun. just keep the sacks wet.
Now if you are going to add more concrete later that dampness is really important. Also, if there is a need for good structural strength (there isn’t here) pressing some nails or rebar in the wet concrete is helpful. They join the two separate castings. This technique with the bags works as well as any when you have a lot of sun. just keep the sacks wet.
If things have stayed damp I normally don’t experience much difficulty when I add concrete. Perhaps you noticed the yellow duct tape. Concrete is much smoother when you line the form with duct tape. With the irregular wood there is no way that it’s going to be smooth but this will be better than it might have been.
Well this is it. I used some resurfacing mix for the leading edge. If you were building this new and didn’t need to use old irregular wood it would certainly look a lot neater. The chickens have no real use for neatness and if I get a hard time new forms can certainly go up. I am taking their roosting area so I will need to create alternatives. They show contempt for the natural looking roost that I prepared so will need to go back to the drawing board. Planning to put up roof tomorrow. Since the rot will slow to a creep this probably gives me years to change whatever I must.
After the roof I will wave a magic wand over this job and have instant (and temporary) cleanliness.
After the roof I will wave a magic wand over this job and have instant (and temporary) cleanliness.
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